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LETTING GO
by Dr. Andrea MacVicar
It's already January the 15th.  Have you like I put away the Christmas stuff, the old files-paperwork stuff, the old clothes stuff, or whatever stuff had to do with you in 2015? Was the letting go easy or hard? For me letting go of stuff is different than putting stuff away. Even giving stuff to charities and to friends is easier than letting go of issues within myself, my sin nature, the core of overcoming my yuckiness of temper, procrastination, over thinking, overanalyzing , criticizing others. I'm good at giving forgiveness, giving understanding, giving consideration of others' humanness. But I'm terrible of letting go of my inward weaknesses of not giving to myself the sentence above by trusting God with who I am. Forgiving myself is a real toughie for me. Is this a New Year's resolution I should make this year even though years ago I promised myself I'd never make any because I knew I'd break them—and condemn myself for it? Hmm… how to I let go of my inward, mental-emotional struggles and trust God to convict, correct? How much is from the poor parenting I had in my childhood? Oops, there I am asking the question that always leads to my hanging onto the past.

Well, here goes not putting into a resolution, but, I'm going to try to let go of inner conflicts caused by life itself in whatever comes in 2016, and to living and trusting in Christ that He is working out inside me whatever He wants. Here's to letting go: for I am powerless to control outcomes in others or in myself when things are out of my hands. Here's to letting go: of not forgiving myself, forever blaming myself when I mess up. Here's to letting go: by getting out of the groove of rehearsing a different scenario of the unchangeable past—my brain like the stuck needle in the groove of an old vinyl record—ever changing the scenes and conversations and circumstances to record better something I did eons ago. Letting go is not trying to make myself better by working out my inner issues, but by increasing my trust that God is doing it. Letting go is cherishing myself everyday in Christ because He cherishes me beyond my self's worst decision making abilities in spite of my good intentions. Letting go is loving myself as much as I can because Christ gives me the grace to do what I can never do—grow up to be what I aspire to be by working it on my own strength.

Here's to a 2016 being loved, being in love, and cherishing myself as Christ cherishes me.